Key facts
- When 500 couples in five countries timed sex with a stopwatch, the median from penetration to ejaculation was 5.4 minutes.1
- Doctors only call it premature ejaculation when it’s very fast (about a minute, or a big drop to around 3 minutes), you can’t delay it, and it bothers you.2
- Training techniques and pelvic floor exercises can help, though the evidence is mixed.3,4
What’s actually normal
In a study of 500 couples from the Netherlands, the UK, Spain, Turkey and the USA, partners timed sex with a stopwatch for four weeks. The median time from penetration to ejaculation was 5.4 minutes, with a huge range: from under a minute to 44 minutes. It got shorter with age, from 6.5 minutes in men aged 18 to 30 to 4.3 minutes in men over 51. Using a condom made no difference.1
So if you’ve been comparing yourself with porn, you’ve been comparing yourself with editing.
When is it “premature”?
The International Society for Sexual Medicine defines premature ejaculation by three things together:2
- Time: almost always within about 1 minute of penetration since your first sexual experiences, or a clear, bothersome drop, often to around 3 minutes or less.
- Control: you can’t delay it on all or nearly all occasions.
- Impact: it causes distress, frustration, or makes you avoid sex.
The NHS uses a simpler, looser test: ejaculating sooner than you or your partner would like.5 Either way, it’s common and it’s treatable.
Techniques that can help
Stop-start and squeeze
With stop-start, you stop stimulation when you feel close, wait for the urge to fade, then carry on. With the squeeze technique, you (or your partner) squeeze the head of the penis for 10 to 20 seconds when you’re close, then wait about 30 seconds before carrying on.5 In one trial, this kind of behavioural training added several minutes compared with doing nothing, but reviewers call the overall evidence “weak and inconsistent”: it works for some men and not others.3
Pelvic floor exercises
In one study, 40 men with lifelong premature ejaculation did 12 weeks of pelvic floor training. 33 of them (82.5%) gained control, and their average time rose from about 40 seconds to about 2.5 minutes.4 It was a small study with no comparison group, so treat it as promising rather than proven.
Simple things to try
The NHS suggests masturbating an hour or two before sex, using a thicker condom, and trying positions with your partner on top.5
When to see a doctor
If it keeps happening and it bothers you, see a doctor. The NHS lists counselling and several medical treatments, including some prescription tablets and numbing creams or sprays, that a doctor can talk you through.5
Lasting longer also comes easier when the basics are in shape: sleep, exercise and less alcohol. More on erection health.
Sources
- Waldinger MD, Quinn P, Dilleen M, et al. A multinational population survey of intravaginal ejaculation latency time. Journal of Sexual Medicine 2005;2(4):492–497. PubMed
- Serefoglu EC, McMahon CG, Waldinger MD, et al. (International Society for Sexual Medicine). Journal of Sexual Medicine 2014;11(6):1423–1441. PubMed
- Melnik T, et al. Psychosocial interventions for premature ejaculation. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2011;(8):CD008195. PubMed
- Pastore AL, et al. Therapeutic Advances in Urology 2014;6(3):83–88. PubMed
- NHS. Ejaculation problems. nhs.uk