Key facts
- 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s size, but only 55% of men were satisfied with their own.1
- When women picked from 3D models, the sizes they preferred were a little above average.2
- In a survey of 52,588 adults, what went with women orgasming more often was oral sex, longer sex, asking for what they want and relationship satisfaction.3
The gap between men and partners
The biggest survey on this asked 52,031 men and women about penis size. 85% of women said they were satisfied with their partner’s size. Among men, only 55% were satisfied with their own, and 45% wanted to be bigger.1 It was an online survey of people who chose to take part, so it isn’t a perfect sample, but the gap is hard to miss: men are far harder on themselves than partners are.
So what do women prefer?
One study asked 75 women to choose from 33 3D-printed models instead of guessing in inches.2 On average they preferred:
- For a one-time partner: 16.3 cm (6.4 in) long and 12.7 cm (5.0 in) around.
- For a long-term partner: 16.0 cm (6.3 in) long and 12.2 cm (4.8 in) around.
To be straight with you: that’s above the clinic-measured average of 13.1 cm (5.2 in) long and 11.7 cm (4.6 in) around (see average size). The study’s authors called it “only slightly larger than average”, but they were comparing against a higher average than clinics measure. Two things put it in context. Women remembered the models’ sizes accurately, girth especially, so these aren’t random guesses. And a stated preference isn’t the same as satisfaction: in the largest survey, 85% of women were happy with their partner’s size.1
Notice the girth numbers, too: for many people, width matters as much as length.
What matters more
In a US survey of 52,588 adults, the women who orgasmed most often were more likely to receive more oral sex, to have longer sex, to be happier in their relationship and to ask for what they want in bed. Women were also more likely to orgasm when sex included deep kissing, touching by hand and/or oral sex, not intercourse alone.3
The International Society for Sexual Medicine sums it up the same way: most partners don’t rank size above emotional connection and sexual skill.4
- Take your time: foreplay and touch matter more than any measurement.
- Ask: what your partner likes is a better guide than any survey.
- Look after the basics: sleep, exercise and less alcohol help firmness and stamina. More on erection health.
From the people behind this site
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Sources
- Lever J, Frederick DA, Peplau LA. Does size matter? Men’s and women’s views on penis size across the lifespan. Psychology of Men & Masculinity 2006;7(3):129–143. doi:10.1037/1524-9220.7.3.129
- Prause N, Park J, Leung S, Miller G. Women’s preferences for penis size: a new research method using selection among 3D models. PLOS ONE 2015;10(9):e0133079. PLOS ONE
- Frederick DA, St John HK, Garcia JR, Lloyd EA. Differences in orgasm frequency among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual men and women in a U.S. national sample. Archives of Sexual Behavior 2018;47(1):273–288. PubMed
- International Society for Sexual Medicine. Does penis size matter to sexual partners? (2024). issm.info